So, I do still really think I’m pretty, beautiful even. Especially on those days where my skin just glows right effortlessly and my hair just falls into place perfectly. There are days where I feel like a cretin though, don’t get me wrong. And days where I feel average.
While I was in the middle of my weight loss last year (so still feeling insecure in my body), I went to the grocery store to pick up some things my sister requested on a Saturday evening. It was pretty dead. I was choosing a chili sauce in the condiments section, and out of the corner of my eye, I see a guy in a vest walking towards me. At first, I assume it’s a store employee but I finally look at him and see he’s just a patron.
He’s holding a salad and a bottle of POM juice and says “excuse me, this might sound weird but” and I think he’s gonna ask my opinion on POM juice. I was ready to give my unfiltered thoughts on how gross I think POM tastes, by the way. But he continues on to say “I just wanted to say, you have a really unique style and I wanted to compliment you on it.” I really wasn’t expecting it so I just say “thank you” and look at him. He looks like he wants to say something else but just quickly replies “you’re welcome” and disappears. It only hits me in the tortilla aisle, that he probably was trying to get my number or ask me out… welcome to my 30s I guess? Where people hit on you at the grocery store of all places.
Anyways, it did brighten my day during a time when I was feeling a bit melancholy, I’m not sure why though. I do think my personal style is a lot nicer than most people’s around here. I was in my grey lounge maxi dress and grey cropped quarter zip and grey metallic sandals. So yeah, I did look pretty cute and put together in my pajamas.
Another incident that occurred months after that, that I found to be genuinely adorable wasn’t when a guy tried flirting with me but just the way he looked at me. I went in to my primary care clinic to get my first dose of the shingles vaccine and one of the receptionists was this guy I’d seen there before. I don’t think he recognized me from months ago but when he saw me when I walked up to the desk, he genuinely blushed and had a look in his eyes like he couldn’t believe how pretty I was. Something about how wholesome it was just melted me. And I think I’m definitely going to remember and hold that moment close to me as compared to that other compliment.
Dear future husband, I hope you look at me with that same unguarded look in your eyes.
P.S. I’m not delusional in where I think I’m the prettiest girl alive or anything like that.